Cut em' Loose~

Good afternoon~

 

Let's resume with yesterday's topic.

 

When my friend discovered her spouse's indiscretion, she did what most of us would do--she called her closest friends. I wonder, however, if she was prepared for their reaction.

 

Most everyone was supportive of her but not the marriage, and most everyone felt concern for her but not for the relationship.

 

Comments like, "Divorce that cheater!" and "You can do better!" were the prevailing pieces of advice she received. Not too many friends came alongside and offered to support her in her efforts to reconcile.

 

On a side note...I find it very interesting that all the same folks who so easily encouraged her to get a divorce all went home at night to the warm embrace of a loving spouse. Pride, I am told makes for a very lonely bedfellow. Unforgiveness, I have heard, isn't all that cuddly.

 

The Bible has a passage that deals with friends who might mean well, but when all is said and done, they were more of a hindrance then a help.

 

The book of Job is about a man who went from having it all--money, power, and family--to losing it every last bit of it. Job 2:11 says, "When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him."

 

They had good intentions, but that quickly shifted and they started judging him--implying that he was somehow responsible for all his own suffering because of some great sin in his life.

 

OUCH! His friends did the exact opposite of every thing we have been reading about in the DEVOs. And talk about a contrast to Christ's teachings. He taught us that only those who are perfect can throw stones, which pretty much means we are all disqualified.

 

At one point Eliphaz the Temanite even tells Job that, "He can cry for help, but no One will answer and the angels won't help either."

 

My goodness! Do any of us have the right to speak for God and decide who He will or will not answer?

 

Can you imagine if Job's friends would have rallied around him and my friend's friends would have rallied around her and just offered support?

 

It is so true what all our moms taught us about not saying anything unless you have something nice to say.

 

So as my friend started on the journey of forgiveness and reconciliation, she learned rather quickly who she would allow to travel with her. She chose her friends wisely and, for the sake of her marriage, was not afraid to cut some negative people loose. AMEN~

 

PRAYER:

Dear Lord, Remind us to keep our opinions to ourselves. Embolden us to put our arms around those who are suffering and just pray for comfort and guidance. None of has the answers to the "whys" of life, but we can all help one another connect with You. In Jesus' name, AMEN~

A Gallant Choice~

Song of Solomon 3:4 "...I found the one whom my soul loves."

 

TGIM--Thank God It's Monday

Why doesn't anyone ever say that? We're alive, aren't we?

 

Yesterday I saw a sign that said, "God wants full custody of His children--not just weekend visits." I love it!

 

I am probably aging myself, but as kid I used to read Highlights magazine, and my favorite feature was a cartoon strip named "Goofus and Gallant."

 

Goofus always did the wrong thing. Gallant always did the right thing.

If Goofus ran with the scissors pointed up, Gallant walked with them pointing down.

If Goofus demanded something, Gallant politely asked.

If Goofus chewed with his mouth open, Gallant was perfectly mannered.

 

We have all had Goofus and Gallant moments. Last week I shared a couple of my own, but today I want to share a mega Gallant moment. Not actually a moment, but rather an entire life choice.

 

Later next week there's a whole entourage of Miamians headed out to California for a destination wedding. A whole lot of preparation has taken place, and it has been no small task coordinating all the details etc...

 

Why, do you suppose, are family and friends here in Miami making the effort attend? Are willing to pay for airfare, hotel, and car rentals? Are willing to make arrangements to have their kids taken care of or even allowing their children to miss a few days of school?

 

An even better question is why don't we make this effort for a couple who has simply decided to move in together? Why don't we throw shacking up showers?

 

It's because marriage, at its core, is a unique relationship where two people vow to love each other faithfully, in mind, body, and soul, through all the ups and downs of life no matter what. It is the epitomy of commitment, and we celebrate the romance and devotion behind it. (Sorry, but I don't find anything about moving in remotely romantic. Nor do I believe it demonstrates any serious commitment or devotion).

 

What are we to do, then, when a spouse violates the trust in marriage? When a spouse willfully disregards the vows taken and does the unthinkable?

 

Today's Gallant life choice award goes to someone near and dear to my heart who immediately decided, upon discovering all that her spouse did wrong, to love him anyway. To forgive him anyway. To allow God to restore her broken heart and her broken marriage.

 

We have talked about how to apply the biblical principles of love before. But let's face it--easier said than done. However, when faced with the choice of whether to fight or flee, this precious young wife and mom determined in her heart that she and her children would not be another statistic. If God says forgiveness and a restored marriage are possible, then she was willing to take Him at His word.

 

And thus began a year-long journey--one that we can all learn from, and we will this week.

 

PRAYER:

Dear Lord, Thank You for marriage. It is a beautiful thing, and we all benefit when couples stay fully committed. Prepare our hearts this week as we look to the example of someone who did it right. Bless our marriages and keep them strong and faithful. In Jesus' name, AMEN~

The Domino Effect~

TGIF Blessings:)

 

Proverbs 15:1 "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare."

 

I want you all to know that I have thought about that poor dentist (see yesterday's DEVO) over the years--13 years to be exact. Sometimes I wonder how everything would have turned out if I would have acted like a civilised human being. Worse, I sometimes think about the domino effect.

 

There's a commercial I really like because it has a gentleman opening a door for someone who had just helped someone cross the street, who had himself just allowed someone to cut in line at the market etc...And the message is that because someone did something nice for us, we turn around and do the same. It's a great message, but I wonder if the opposite is true.

 

What if I ruined the dentist's day and then he was grumpy the rest of the afternoon and was less than kind himself to a patient who then goes home with a sore mouth and a foul mood and snaps back at their spouse who turns around and puts the dog out and the dog, feeling vulnerable and rejected, bites a neighbor?

 

However, I can also testify that when we stop the rudeness dead in its tracks--when we practice self-control--we can change the course of the domino effect.

 

One day I went to pick up Rachel at school. In the immediate moments after the bell rang, a few of the moms and I were talking in the classroom while she and her buddies were playing. Back then guitar string bracelets were all the rage, and it was common to see all the little girls wearing as many as 20 at a time. Rachel's little friend gave her one, and thinking it was elastic, Rayray pulled it and of course, it was stretched beyond repair. The mother of the little girl went ballistic.

 

She went right up to Rayray, pointed a finger in her precious shocked face, and yelled ATROCITIES at her. "Look what you did!" "You should be ashamed!" "You are a vandal!" "You did it on purpose because you are jealous!" "You are the worst friend ever!"

 

I was literally one foot away, and for one brief moment, as I felt the heat rising on the back of my neck, time stood still and three things crossed my mind. (1) I am going to jail for murder, (2) I am going to wind up my arm and unleash a right hook and bust the teeth out of her mouth. ( I know a great dentist.), and (3) This is all going to go down in front of a bunch of witnesses, including my son who had by then come into the room.

 

And then I heard a whisper. God Himself bent over and gently said to my soul that my reaction would have consequences--good or bad. A question came to me: "Do you have room in your heart for forgiveness?"

 

Well, dang! Clearly God was watching me, and I never want to let Him down. So I stepped in between that mother and Rayray, and with the kindness that only Jesus can give when we purpose to do the right thing, I very quietly apologized for the incident. I assured her that Rachel hadn't meant to do it. I pulled out my wallet and offered to pay her one full American dollar bill plus tax for the one that was damaged because that was the cost plus $20 more for good measure. I encouraged Rayray to say she was sorry. I gathered my kids, went to the car, and sat there in stunned silence.

 

I finally drove home. My hands were shaking the whole time, and I was kind of sick to my stomach the rest of the afternoon. But that night I received a phone call from that mom. She was weeping and apologizing profusely. She explained that she had had a terrible day (she is an oncology nurse); she never meant to take it out on a small innocent child, much less in such a public way in front every one including her own kids. Would I ever forgive her? Would Rachel? We made our peace and were really good friends after that. Even traveled together a few times.

 

And from that moment until now I try to think of how we can all change the course of the domino effect.

 

PRAYER:

Dear Lord,

Sometimes we forfeit blessings because we choose to let our anger--no matter how justified--to take over. May we all always hear Your voice, which is forever encouraging us to do the right thing with Jesus' help. AMEN~

Dress Wisely~

Goooooooooood afternoon:)

 

 

Yesterday's DEVO really struck a chord, and I thank you all for your fine comments! Let's revisit some of the highlights.

 

Colossians 3:12-14 says, "...dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered...quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it."

 

When Rayray was five years old she went through a pink Power Ranger phase. She had the costume, and would wear it as often as she could. Some days it was a struggle getting her to put on her school uniform. Sunday mornings were sometimes difficult as she would already be wearing her special outfit when I would go in to wake her up. It was not easy negotiating with that child, and over the years I have learned to embrace her strong will as a gift from God. (More on that a later date).

 

But wouldn't it be grand if we were all as zealous and eager to dress in the wardrobe God has picked out for us? If you look closely at the verse, we actually have a choice. If God is encouraging us to dress ourselves in kindness could it be that sometimes we choose to wear rudeness or nastiness instead?

 

Before I point the finger at anyone else I point it to me. Most days I think I start off with a lovely blouse of beauty and pants of praise, shoes of sweetness, and even a frock of friendliness. And then something irritates me, like the dentist who could not find what was causing Jorgie's toothache and said to me in front of my crying and desperate son that it was, "Psychosomatic."

 

I immediately shed the jeans of joy and put on some highly threatening threads saying, among other things as I stormed out, "You shouldn't blame my son because you are an incompetent, unqualified quack!" The last image I have of that poor man is him with his head hanging down low on his desk.

 

But wait, it gets worse. I took Jorgie to an endodonist who promptly diagnosed the problem by determining there was a lack of oxygen in the tooth, so he drilled a small hole in the tooth and voila! pain gone.

 

Shouldn't I have been relieved that Jorgie was finally out of pain and just leave the thing alone? Yes, but when the endodonist explained how easily he diagnosed the problem and how the dentist could have done the same, I called back for round two. I know. I should have let it go.

 

But sometimes we are as stubborn as a kindergartener who wants what she wants when she wants it.

 

We adults, I suppose, can have temper tantrums too.

 

But guess what? Each and every morning we get a brand new opportunity to get dressed. Let's make sure the garments of beauty fit snugly so they are not so easily shed.

 

PRAYER: Dear Lord, Compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline, and even-temperedness? That's a lot to ask! Have you seen what we have to deal with? Maybe dressing ourselves with these attributes, however, actually improves our quality of life. By faith we can say that choosing to wrap ourselves in this godly wardrobe winds up being the bigger blessing than the momentary satisfaction of speaking our mind. Minister to us today with Your goodness that we might be so full and filled with You that others will want to dress the same way; the world will be a better place because of it. In Jesus' name, AMEN~

Dress in Love~

A hearty and happy hello to all:)




The DEVO from March 26 talked about coming alongside those you love, and one of my buddies is now living this out in the most beautiful way I think I have ever seen.



Colossians 3:12-14 says, "...dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered...quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it."



She recently found out she is going to be a grandmother. Her child will soon be married, so this news was surprising to say the least. Suddenly there were two options: Have a full-blown tizzy or remember that love is our basic, all-purpose garment that we are never without.



This fine and fabulous gal pal, fully arrayed in the wardrobe God would have us all wear, has withheld judgment and harshness. There's enough of that in the world already, don't you agree? Rather, she has rightly come alongside her daughter and is helping her navigate through all the whirlwind activities that come from preparing a wedding, preparing a baby shower, preparing a move, and preparing for the responsibilities of being a wife and mother. Is there even really any time to point a finger and be critical?



And may I add that everything being planned is to celebrate the love and commitment between two people who are aware that God is a forgiving Father Who desires to bless them?



What must we do to be blessed--even in the face of our own choices and consequences?



Proverbs 24:16 "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.'



We will all trip, over and over again, in fact. BUT WE GET UP AGAIN.



We do not stay down. We do not live in the error. We get up and make it right. How wonderful when someone encourages us and helps us get up. And when we get up, we get blessed. Our life may go off track, but glory and praises, we can all steer right back on course.



Isn't that life in a nutshell?



PRAYER:

Dear Lord, Thank You that You know we are prone to falling down but that we also rise again. Life is a series of ups and downs, and You are with us each step of the way. Fill our lives with those who wear love like the life-affirming covering we each need. And if any of us is prone to being negative, rude, harsh, or critical, help us remove all that and replace it with the finest garment in Your wardrobe. In Jesus' name, AMEN~

Blessings in Disguise~

1 Peter 5:14 "...Peace to all of you who are in Christ."

A while back I had a cheat day and sent out a DEVO written by Joni Tada. Feel free to read anything and everything she has ever written; it will help your spirits soar!

The gist of that DEVO had to do with a little three-year-old boy whose unconscious body was found by his mother. She called 9-1-1, and the paramedics, as they were taking her son to the ambulance, told the mom and dad to follow them in their car--to the cemetery.

No one wants to hear those words when their child is deathly ill. Long story short, the cemetery was the only place in their small town where a life-flight helicopter had enough clearing to land.

Sometimes we think we are headed to the cemetery, when in fact, a life-flight helicopter awaits.

Sometimes what we thought would undo us turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

When Hormone graduated from his elementary school, his father and I decided that Westminster Christian would be a good middle school and high school for him to attend. He aced his entrance exams and then went in for the face-to-face interview, during which he was asked if he liked to read. His answer, "Nope. Not at all."

Of course, I was mortified and thought for sure that this fine educational institution would promptly scratch him off the list of potential candidates.

It was a blessing in disguise because I was told afterward that the interviewer really appreciated the honest answer, and we enrolled Hormone shortly thereafter.

And remember the father of one of our dear DEVO readers who had a stroke several months ago? Boy oh boy did this family feel like they were on the way to the cemetery. Turns out it was the best possible blessing in disguise because that health scare prompted this lovely man to make some dynamic and wonderful life style changes that his family thought he would never make.

Take a moment to think of the difficulties in your life--all of them--the really important ones and the not so life-threatening but important just the same. Let's ask God to give us all a new perspective today.

PRAYER:

Dear Lord, It is comforting to know that You are aware of every thing in our lives. Every single detail has purpose and meaning when we turn to You. Your love is complete and thorough, and we ask You to let us feel Your embrace today. Help us to see Your guiding hand in our lives. In Jesus' name, AMEN~

Angels on the Job~

Good afternoon, all you glorious and forgiven children of God whom He is busy bringing His goodness to:)

Next month will mark the fourth anniversary of an incident that changed my life. We got that phone call that no parent ever wants to receive. Rayray and four of her friends were in a car accident. A Miami Herald employee who was working the late shift fell asleep behind the wheel of his car on the way home and t-boned Rayray as she was crossing a green light. The car flipped four times and landed upside down against a tree. All four of her passengers walked away unhurt. Rayray fractured her collarbone and needed stitches on her shoulder and arm after crawling through glass to get out of the car.

No one in the backseat was wearing a seat belt, so it was miraculous that no one was ejected. Rayray was taken to the local hospital, checked out, and released. I myself could not go to the emergency room because I had just had surgery myself. Her father and brother went, and I wondered how God would use this for good.

(1) Everyone, including the driver of the other car, survived. Enough said.

(2) The car, that would have been paid in full after just one more payment, was totaled. I DID NOT CARE. And I was able to finally prove to myself that after saying material things don't matter, I really believed it. Mind you, the other driver was uninsured, but thank God we had sufficient coverage.

(3) I was able to call my prayer partner right away, and she was willing and available to pray for my family and me. We all need to know there is at least one person we can count on in a real crisis.   

(4) When the moment of truth arrived, her brother stepped up to the challenge and was able to change Rayray's bandages with the skill of a top surgeon. This is amazing given that he has hands the size of a six-year-old gorilla. He did not shy away from helping her, and her father and I were grateful. Of course I knew they loved each other, but it blessed my heart beyond belief to know they will be there for one another long after Jorge and I are gone. Later that day Hormone just closed the door to his room and cried his eyes out. Glory~

(5) Not one of Rayray's friends pursued any legal action against us, which I found out later was possible by law even though it was not Rayray's fault. It's nice to know who your friends are, and to this day she remains close with them.

(6) I had the privilege of being the one to gently encourage Rachel to get behind the wheel again. It was beautiful being able to pray for her and watch God strengthen her as she fought against the fear of driving. She, of course, has since fully recovered, and is always always always on the go. The City of Miami is considering naming a street in Coconut Grove after her.

What was the number one good that came from this all? I learned that even when our children break a rule God still honors a mother's prayers. For you see, Rayray was not supposed to be driving that day. She was staying with a bunch of her friends, and I had specifically asked her not to drive because of the late hour. She assured me she wouldn't. But when they all decided to get something to eat, she just figured it would kind of sort of be okay. NOT!

When I finally saw her later that day, I broke down; my knees gave out. But I went on to caress that precious face of hers for hours and hours and did not once mention that she should have known better. I did not yell, threaten, or yes people, even preach. I just sat there thanking God that my baby was still with me.

PRAYER:

 

Dear Lord, We sometimes bring consequences on ourselves, but that does not stop You from blessing us anyway. Psalm 91:11 assures us that "You will order Your angels to protect us wherever we go," even when we go where we shouldn't. Thank You! In Jesus' name, AMEN~

 

 

Car After Accident



Jorgie's Gorilla Hands