Self-Control~

Salutations~

 

 

Galatians 5:22-23 (The Message version)

 

“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

 

 

Based on the verse above here's a neat and concise list of the gifts God gives when we live His way: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control.

 

 

All these are the fruits that will grow and thrive in our orchards.  And all these are necessary for enjoying life.  We should also be asking God regularly to help us and our children produce these fruits.  But today I want to hone in one particular fruit that seems to often elude us and whose lack of in our life produces misery.  I am talking, of course, about self-control.

 

 

What happens when you try to control your spouse? Your kids? The weather? Someone else's reaction? God?

 

 

Simply stated--You can't!

 

 

And when we can not control something we feel helpless and afraid.

 

 

If only we could choose for our spouse when they fall into temptation.  If only we could say "no to drugs" on behalf of little Johnny.  If only we could make sure everyone driving around on the friendly streets of Miami were properly licensed and insured.  If only we could make sure that everyone else around us is always nice, always loving, always kind...In short, always producing fragrant fruit in a fertile orchard.  

 

 

All of us with half a brain know that this is not the way life works.  We really have very little control over anything much less anyone--except ourselves.

 

 

It's called self-control for a reason, and that is because you are really the only one you can control.

 

 

This does not mean we don't try in vain to control situations or other people, but more often than not, when we assume this huge impossibility and fail, we feel like failures and this leads to unhappiness.

 

 

Ask yourself what you have been really down about lately or just in general, and more than likely it will have to do with a situation beyond your control.  

 

 

For example: (all the names of my brave friends have been changed to protect their innocence.)

 

 

Pierre la Franc has been really low lately--precisely since 2007.  This is when the economy started tanking, and he took a huge personal hit.  He blamed everyone and everything and felt his happy light slowly starting to fade.  The power of positive thinking was not powerful enough, and no matter how hard he ordered his personal finances to turn around, they would not budge.  It was out of his control.  

 

 

Sally G. Away invested a lot of time and a lot of effort in raising her two little girls.  One of whom chose the straight and narrow and one of whom did not.  The one who did not went down a path of self-destruction that destroyed Sally as well.  Over and over and over again she blamed herself for her daughter's choices, and in the process fell into a severe depression.

 

 

At the root of the problem was that both these fine folks were trying to control something beyond their ability.  Add to that a heaping helping of self-condemnation and it's easy to see how these life-scenarios led to such unhappiness.        

 

 

And then there's my buddy Lois who was so convinced that her daughter deserved a certain role at school that she expended a lot of time and energy rallying the higher-ups to choose her child and was highly insulted when it did not work out.  She almost withdrew her child's enrollment because of it and would have forfeited many years of fun and friendships.  We laugh about it now, but back then it was a perfect example of "forcing one's way in life," and "not channeling one's energies wisely."

 

 

I think we can all relate.  Let us focus on the one thing we can control and trust God with the rest.

 

 

PRAYER: Dear Lord, You are right.  Self-control is the only control we have.  Thank You that You have the rest under Your watchful eye.  In Jesus' name, AMEN